The Moral Of The Story
A teacher of a fifth grade class gave her students an assignment. The assignment was to ask their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day, the kids came back and each had a turn to tell their stories.
“Peter, do you have a story to share?” she asks one child.
“Yes, ma’m; my daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol.
Aunt Carol was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a Swiss army knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed in the middle of twenty enemy troops.
She shot fifteen of them with the gun, but ran out of bullets.
Then she killed four more with the knife, but the blade broke.
Then she killed the final soldier with her bare hands.”
“Good heavens!” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your father teach you from that awful story?”
“Don’t mess with Aunt Carol when she’s been drinking.”
(Author Unknown)
The Supid Tax
The government taxes pretty much everything, did you know they tax stupidity as well?
The stupid tax, or as most of you call it, The State Lottery, is back in my mind today because my numbers came up again last night. Now, most of you may wonder, if he calls it the stupid tax, why would he have numbers?
A very long time ago, about twenty years or so, I used to play the Ohio Lottery every day, the “Pick Three” Every day at lunch, a bunch of us would go buy out tickets, we worked the second shift as telemarketers. We didn’t sell anything, we just did market research so that part was pretty cool. Anyway, I played the same numbers every day, 047, for about a year or so if I remember correctly. One day, I had an inkling to not buy a ticket, I said to my friends as we were there at the quickie mart, “I am not going to buy a ticket today and I will be one dollar richer tomorrow”. I had every intention of buying another ticket the next day, I just thought I would skip the one day.
They ran the lottery at 7:30PM each day while we were still working so one of us had to call the quickie mart to get the numbers, this was before the Internet for those of you wondering why a phone call was needed. While we usually took turns calling, I didn’t call because I didn’t care that day, but the others were busy and ask me too so I did.
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Hello? Yes, could I have the Pick Three numbers please? Uh, sure, hold on a sec… OK they’re 047 What? Can you say that again?! 047 Aaaaahhhhhhh!!!! |
I haven’t played since with the exception of about 5 or 6 times playing the big lottery when it was really really big and in news for being big enough to actually be worth the odds.
First of all, I was pissed, I would have won $700 if I had only stuck to my normal routine That’s like $3000 in today’s money kids). I was not only angry at myself but at the Lottery as well because I believed that there was some greater force out there having fun with me. I somehow knew that if I started playing again that I would never win and the only time my numbers would come up was if I were to somehow miss a day again.
I have seen 047 come up numerous times since then as if it were taunting me to start playing again, but I absolutely refuse. Since then, I have realized it is stupid to play anyway because the odds are against you. The odds of winning a pick three lottery are 1000 to 1, but when your number comes up you don’t win $1000, you win far less. Back then I would have won a little over $700 but today it is only $500.
The lottery payout is very similar to you and I betting on the flip of a coin with 50/50 odds. You bet $1 and if you win, I give you 50¢ and if you loose you give me the dollar. No one wants to play that game but millions of people play the lottery every day. And that is exactly why it is called the Stupid Tax.
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