I would like a Remington 700 SPS Varmint Bolt Action Rifle chambered in .308 Winchester with a 26″ Barrel in Matte Blue Finish and a Black Synthetic Stock.

P.S. A high powered scope would be nice too, if ya can swing it.

The next day, the kids came back and each had a turn to tell their stories.

“Peter, do you have a story to share?” she asks one child.

“Yes, ma’m; my daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol.

Aunt Carol was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a Swiss army knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed in the middle of twenty enemy troops.

She shot fifteen of them with the gun, but ran out of bullets.

Then she killed four more with the knife, but the blade broke.

Then she killed the final soldier with her bare hands.”

“Good heavens!” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your father teach you from that awful story?”

“Don’t mess with Aunt Carol when she’s been drinking.”

(Author Unknown)

And to anyone under 40, yes, this is the kind of stuff we watched on TV in the 70′s.